Challenging your Fear

                                  

                                    My first spook story

Wow… I am sitting up here just thinking about how when I was a child and I heard my first spook story. The first spook story happened amongst my family and the story was about the Devil. Looking back on that story I can laugh, because where I am now in life has brought me to see just how ridiculous that story of the Devil was.

I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school during my early years. In fact, everything I was told about this world had to do with the Devil and God but later on I came to realize that the God part of me was the Good part of me and to Devil part of me was to so called devilish part of me. Why I say that is because when good things happened to me, it was because I had done good and God had blessed me. When I did something wrong, it was because of the Devil, he made me do it, this is the kind of programming I received as a child. My first conversation with my mother about sex was that it was a sin. I was told that if I wasn’t a virgin until I got married, that would be a sin; and that I would be considered a whore. I asked my mother what is a whore? Her response was “A woman who sleeps around” I remembered thinking to my self “If I only sleep with one person and we are not married, would I still be a whore?” I didn’t ask my mother that question on that day but I asked her later on when I became more and more curious about sex “Mama, what If I have a boyfriend and he is the only one I am with sexually, will I still be a whore?” her response was “Well, yes, you would still be a whore because you are supposed to only have sex with the man you are married to because if you don’t marry him, he can leave you after he has taken your virginity and then you would be used goods” Oh my god! Looking back on that conversation my mother was having with me, my poor mother had been programmed her self. My poor mother had been so programmed that she would come up with justifications that suited her programming. On the surface, I didn’t think my mother knew what she was talking about but subconsciously, I did. As a child, I looked up to both my parents and believed everything they told me. Even if on the surface I rejected it, subconsciously I accepted it. For many years I struggled with the fact that I may be going to hell to live with the Devil which was a very scary place where people burn for eternity, the Devil pokes you with his pitch fork and no one comes to save you.

                                                 Growing up

As I got older and learned about other cultures and the origins and history of religion, I began to heal. I began to heal from all the spook stories that came later such as the monster under my bed and all the other scary stories and movies I was exposed to, I became healed of fear. Fear is no joke. Fear is what is making this world so crazy. I will never forget telling my mother and other family members that eternal burning in fire is better than being alive to see children have bombs dropped on them. Burning in eternal fire was better than hearing (and you don’t even have to see it) about children being kidnapped and molested by the adults who are supposed to protect them. Burning in eternal fire is better than being exposed via internet to the cruel things humans do to the poor animals who didn’t ask to be apart of the human sicknesses. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to have to make a choice between eternal fire and the later but to be honest with you, I can’t see how someone can burn for ever. It is actually people out there who believe they will burn forever if they don’t get into heaven. I know because I was one of those people. If you are reading this, ask yourself this… If you were down in so called hell right now, what is the worst thing you could be exposed to that you haven’t already been exposed to here on earth?

                                        Fear is an illusion

Staying focused on fear. Fear is an illusion and I learned this the hard way. If you are scared of the dark, ask yourself this… What is it in the dark, that isn’t already there in the light? The only reason why you fear the dark is because of what you have been programmed to believe about the dark. A blind person weather born blind or went into being blindness at some point in their life, is in the dark 24/7. A blind person literally lives in the dark every minute of their life. Before you entered this world, all you knew was darkness. Think about it. In your mothers womb you went through a gestation period of 9 months in total darkness. It wasn’t until you came into the lightness, that you were programmed and taught to fear everything about the darkness. Fearing the darkness is what has taken away from many of our abilities to feel. Fearing darkness has taken away from the purity of our intuition. When one cannot see, all one has to rely on is what one feels. Feeling is more pure than what one sees. We have been programmed to no go by what we feel, but to go by what we see and often times what we see is not what we think we are seeing. Example: Most of us who watch television are being programmed by what we see. It would be okay to watch television if we were taught to watch it critically but we are not taught that and the first lesson we get in not watching or thinking critically is the schools. I can’t speak for those people who had it good in life, for those people who’s parents could afford to send their children to a school where as long as the parents paid good money, their child was allowed to think critically. Their child could have a not so bright way of thinking critically but as long as the parent paid good money, the child was allowed to be free in expression. The same rule applies to children who lived in the neighborhoods that had the so called better schools. I didn’t have that luxury. Where I came from, you better do what the teacher told you and not question because if you didn’t, you were not going to get good grades and if you didn’t get good grades you would flunk and have to repeat the same grade over and a flunky is unsuccessful in life. Can you imagine how many children who have been violated by their teachers due to that kind of programming? The kind of programming teaches our children to be seen and not heard. Some of you reading this may say well, these kids are bad these days so what do you want the teachers to do? Before we send our children off to a stranger to be taught, we have to empower our children in the home, we have to give them opportunities to learn in the home, what their value is. If we do this, when they go out into the world, the predators who prey on the weak, will not be able to prey on your child. They won’t even go near your child because your child’s energy will say “If you even attempt to violate me, someone is going to come after you and you will be sorry when they do.” Predators know who to prey on and it is not the kid who is self empowered.

Challenging your fear

The programming and conditioning is no joke. We all have gone through some kind of programing on different levels. The fear is put into us in so many genius ways that it is pretty much sinister. Here is the thing however, if we continue to live in fear, continue to think that we better do this or that (which really makes us feel very uncomfortable) because if we don’t, this will happen, we will never come to a place of personal empowerment. The first step in personal empowerment is to challenge all that you have been taught, the good and the bad. If you were taught that if someone confronts you and they confront you in a way that intimidates you, that your response should be to do your best to intimidate them back, all you will be doing is participating in the recipe of fear and the continuing cycle of fear; hence, no personal empowerment. You will know the cycle of fear when you see it because it is repetitive and offers no growth. You will see that the people you have problems with are saying the same things you are saying and no one is getting any where and the egos continue to get bigger.


Self Empowered

What I learned to do through my studies of Astrology is see the person who is challenging me as an aspect of my self. Trust me, who so ever you come into contact with represents an aspect of you. If you practice this, you will learn how to defuse unnecessary confrontation in a way that is self empowering and once you learn to do this, the fear that you had will begin to flee. You know when you were ignorant and no one could tell you anything. You remember the first time someone did tell you something that affected you in a way that changed you positively. You may not have gotten affected that same day but later on down the line the seeds that that person dropped on you, took root and that is when you began to grow. If you have never had that experience yet and you are in your 20’s or close to your Saturn return, you would want to open yourself up for that experience because you don’t want to go past 29 with absolutely no self empowerment what so ever. Not saying that if you do, there is no way for you to grow but let’s just say that the consciousness becomes a little more dim and you will have a lot more work to do. If you are strong however and you are willing to grow, the dimness can serve as a strengthener when the time comes. I challenge anyone who reads this to challenge all that you have been taught. Challenge your biases, challenge your hate for others. We are all connected and if you hate you may want to challenge the hate you have for self. Challenge what you fear and become Self Empowered.

If you have any questions about this entry, see contact information. Thanks for reading.

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